


He's Buying A Salmon Ladder To Hell

by Sophia_Surname



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:21:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22407136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophia_Surname/pseuds/Sophia_Surname
Summary: John Constantine is Oliver Queen's go-to friend for dealing with Magic. Oliver likes to think he's inspiring people to be their best selves, but he doesn't always know what a person's "best self" would be.
Relationships: John Constantine/Oliver Queen
Kudos: 26





	He's Buying A Salmon Ladder To Hell

**Author's Note:**

> This just kind of happened. It's dedicated to my friend Jude.

“Alright, Mate,” John said. “It’s time for me to head off. I helped you with your latest little demon problem, and now I have to help someone else with their latest little demon problem.”

Oliver crossed in front of John’s path to the exit. “No, we had a deal, Constantine. You teach me to do some magic,”

“Which I did, if you’ll remember?”

“... and I help you with your body.”

John frowned and lit another cigarette. “You said that, Oliver, but I never agreed to those terms. In fact, I agreed only if you didn’t make me climb your weird little ladder.”

On the other side of the bunker, out of earshot, Felicity muttered, “Please don’t make him climb the salmon ladder, I won’t survive having a sex dream about this Sting-lookalike.” 

Oliver put his hand on John’s arm, and John looked down on it, concerned. “I promise, if you just try it, I’ll never bring it up again.”

“You will, mate, but I’ll indulge you this once.” John walked over to the salmon ladder and looked up to the bar. “How do I reach that, mate.”

“John, you have to take off your Jacket.”

John ignored this advice and, without stubbing out his cigarette, tried to jump up and grab the rung. Felicity knew “tried” was a generous word, as John’s arms barely cleared the top of his head, but she bit her tongue. She could suppress the snark. Anything to get this interaction over with.

“Constantine, take off your jacket.”

John looked askance at his friend, and, saying nothing and not removing the coat, tried again, this time a little harder. His fingertips brushed the bar.

“Can’t do it, mate, can I bugger off now?”

“Just try one more time.” Oliver got that look in his eyes. “Please.” John always had trouble entirely saying no to a pretty face.

He jumped up one more time, and this time he got a grip on the bar. Smiling as if he were victorious, he tried and monstrously failed to pull himself up at all. He strained two more times, as Oliver did those frustrated little shifts and noises that he was so attached to. Finally, John’s strength gave way, and he fell to the ground with a thud. He lay there, exaggerating his defeat, for a full 20 seconds before he sat up and lit a new cigarette. He wasn’t sure where the one he had been holding had gone off to, and didn’t particularly care.

“Alright, John, that was… An attempt.”

“I tried it, mate. Now can I leave?”

“Ok, let’s try the water slapping exercise instead.”

“Mate. Bugger off.”


End file.
